There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
