Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
