Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
