Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
