He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
