Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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