How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Sext me about skeletons
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
