is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
