i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
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