apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
