You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
