well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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