After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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