So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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