Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
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