Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
