You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
