Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
