...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
