Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
