Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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