Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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