sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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