VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
