Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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