It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
