I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
