he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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