i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
