And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
