That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
