so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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