"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
