I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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