He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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