He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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