Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
