oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
