this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
