Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
