I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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