is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
