so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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