I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
