Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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