i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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