Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
