I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
