I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The air was thick with penises
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
