I'm really into asian looking animals
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
